December 1 Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Apply gold leaf, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas Cards.December 2 Have Mormon Tabernacle Choir record outgoing Christmas message for answering machine.December 3 Using candlewick and handgilded miniature pine cones, fashion cat-o-nine-tails. Flog Gardener.December 4 Repaint Sistine Chapel
Category: Miscellaneous
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A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu…Broiled Missionary: $25.00Fried Explorer: $35.00Baked Politician: $100.00.The cannibal called the waiter over and asked , “Why such a price difference for the politician?”The
Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use. Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head before you go to bed each night. If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on the lenses. Throw away a hundred dollar
World War III. The US has succeeded in building a computer able to solve any strategic or tactical problem. Military leaders are assembled in front of the new machine and instructed to feed difficult tactical problem into it. They describe a hypothetical situation to the computer and then ask the
Possible titles for Monica Lewinsky’s new book1. I Suck At My Job2. What Really Goes Down In The White House3. How I Blew It In Washington4. You Have to Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President5. Clear and Present Boner6. Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule7.
Scientists were preparing an experiment to ask the ultimate question.They had worked for months gathering one each of every computer that was built. Finally the big day was at hand. All the computers were linked together. They asked the question, “IS THERE A GOD?”Suddenly there was a loud crash, and
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, “OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I’m getting a