A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.He sidles up to the bar and announces:”I’m lookin’ for the man who shot my paw.”
Category: Miscellaneous
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A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. “Hurry!” she said, “stand in the corner.” She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. “Don’t move until I tell you to,” she whispered. “Just
58 Actual Newspaper Headlines(collected by journalists)1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted4. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case5. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents6. Farmer Bill Dies in House7. Iraqi Head
OXYMORONS…Act naturally Found missingResident alienAdvanced BASIC Genuine imitationSafe sexAirline food Good grief Same differenceAlmost exactlyGovernment organizationSanitary landfillAlone togetherLegally drunk Silent screamBritish fashion Living dead Small crowdBusiness ethicsMicrosoft WorksSoft rock Butt headMilitary intelligenceSoftware documentationCalifornia cultureNew classic Sweet sorrow Childproof”Now, then …”Synthetic natural gas Christian ScientistsPassive aggression Taped live Clearly misunderstoodPeace force
You don’t know Jack Schitt!When someone says “You don’t know Jack Schitt”, well, now you’ll know the entire story.Jack Schitt was the only son of Owe Schitt and Awe Schitt. Owe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Awe Schitt, who later ran a country hotel.. The Kneedeep Inn.Jack Schitt eventually married
Science definitions from Kids…H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.When you smell a oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.Water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is
Some Words of Wisdom…The gene pool could use a little chlorine.Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.Your kid may be an honor