What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football?The sofa doesn’t keep asking for beer.
Category: Miscellaneous
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Worst Analagies Written By High SchoolersHe spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about
What is the difference between a man and childbirth?One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable whilethe other is just having a baby.
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letterfrom his mother asking him to send her a current photoof himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to lether know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts aphoto in half and sends her the top part. Later
VERBS:to schmooze = befriend scumto pitch = grovel shamelesslyto brainstorm = feign preparednessto research = procrastinate indefinitelyto network = spread disinformationto collaborate = argue incessantlyto freelance = collect unemploymentNOUNS:agent = frustrated lawyerlawyer = frustrated producerproducer = frustrated writerwriter = frustrated directordirector = frustrated actoractor = frustrated humanCOMPOUND WORDS:high-concept = low
What is the difference between a single 40-year-old woman and asingle 40-year-old man?The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the40-year-old man thinks often about dating them.
A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituaryfor her recently deceased husband is published. After the editorinforms her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, shepauses, reflects and then says, “Well, then, let it read ‘Fred Browndied’.” Confounded at the woman’s