If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money,
Category: Miscellaneous
Total 3979 Posts
THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female: Any part under a car’s hood. Male: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. Male: Playing football without a helmet. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?” She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.” “No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of
A sad-faced Doug walked into a flower shop early one morning. The clerk was ready to take his order for a funeral piece, based on the look on Doug’s face, but soon realized his assumption was wrong as Doug asked for a basket of flowers sent to his wife for
Worried that his son was spending too much money on dates, Little Johnny’s Father asked how much his last date had cost. Little Johnny calculated a minute then replied, “Oh, about $15 or so I think.” “Well,” said his Father, “I’m proud of you for finally coming up with an
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. “Oh, we’ll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship,” the wife explained. “He was a communications major in college, and I majored in theater arts. He
Skinny people piss me off! Especially when they say things like, “You know sometimes I forget to eat, now I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name, and my keys. But I’ve never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.” They