American Express calls and says: “Leave home without it!” Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a fine restaurant. You’re formulating a plan to rob the food bank. You’ve rolled so many pennies, you’ve formed a psychic bond with Abe. Long distance companies no longer
Category: Miscellaneous
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It beats being an American. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground. You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground Where else can you travel 1000 miles over
Drive through the drive thru in reverse and let your passenger order. Ask prices of everything on the menu then order something that you did not ask the price for. Pretend like your window is broken. Tell the employee this. Order with your door open, pay with your door open.
In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes Unembarrassed to wear fur. No need to worry about tax returns Glorious military history… well, until about 400 a.d. Can wear sunglasses inside Political stability Flexible working hours Live near the Pope Country run by Sicilian murderers
You can have a woman president without electing her You can spell colour wrong and get away with it You can call Budweiser beer You can be a crook and still be president If you’ve got enough money you can get elected to do anything If you can breathe you
ValueJet: When you just can’t wait for the world to come to you. ValueJet: We’re Amtrak with wings. Join our frequent near-miss program. On flights, every section is a smoking section. Ask about our out-of-court settlements. Our staff has had lots of experience consoling next-of-kin. Are our jet engines too
You’re so tired you now answer the phone, “Hell.” Your friends call to ask how you’ve been, and you immediately scream, “Get off my back, jerk!” Your garbage can IS your “in” box. You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you