Q: What’s red and goes up and down?A: A tomato in an elevator.Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?A: We have to stick together.Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster?A: Hello, hello.Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?A:
Category: Miscellaneous
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IF AIRLINES SOLD PAINT . . .Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things.Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price?Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have 60 different prices up to
Aquarius (Jan 23 – Feb 22) – You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.Pisces (Feb 23 – Mar 22) – You are a pioneer
1. Coca-cola was originally green.2. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the US Treasury.3. Smartest dogs: 1) border collie; 2)poodle; 3)golden retriever.4. Dumbest dog: Afghan5. Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.6. Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.7. Chances that an American lives
I had been teaching my three-year old daughter the Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer:
The water-proof towelGlow in the dark sunglassesSolar powered flashlightsSubmarine screen doorsA book on how to readInflatable dart boardsA dictionary indexPowdered waterPedal powered wheel chairsWater proof tea bagsWatermelon seed sorterZero proof alchoholReusable ice cubesSee through tiolet tissueSkinless bananasDo it yourself roadmapHelicopter ejector seat
A newlywed couple returned to their apartment after being on their honeymoon.”Care to go upstairs and do it?” the husband asked.”Shh!” said the bride “All the neighbors will know what we’re about to do. These walls are paper thin. In the future, we’ll have to ask each other in code.