How many Obsessive-Compulsive P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? Just one. But he has to check it 100 times, one for each watt.
Category: Mental health jokes
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How many Borderline P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? Just one. To threaten suicide if you don’t change it for him/her.
Three patients at a psychiatric clinic are up for release. The shrink informs them that they will have to pass a simple test. Asking the first patient: Q. How much is two plus two? A: Blue. At which the kind doctor calls in the orderly to escort the patient back
Patient: Doctor, I get the feeling that people don’t give a hoot about anything I say. Psychiatrist: So?
One out of every four people is suffering from some form of mental illness. Check three friends. If they’re OK, then it’s you.
Patient: I’m really depressed. Therapist: I see. Yes. You are depressed. Patient: Nothing is going well. Therapist: Nothing well. Patient: I feel like killing myself. T: You’re thinking of killing yourself. P: Yes, I’m going to do it NOW. T: You want to do it now. P: [Jumps out window.]
The head doctors in an insane asylum had a meeting and decided that one of their patients was potentially well. So they decide to test him and take him to the movies. When they get to the movie theater, there are signs of wet paint pointing to the benches. The