A psychologist returned from a confrence in Aspen lodge, where all the psychologists were permited to ski for free. Her husband asked her, “How it went?”. She replied, “Fine, but I’ve never seen so many Freudians slips.”

A guy goes in to see a psychologist. He says, “It seems I can’t make any friends. Can you help me, you fat slob?”

Psychiatrist to his nurse: “Just say we’re very busy. Don’t keep saying ‘It’s a madhouse.’”

Men don’t get lost; they discover alternative destinations.