A psychologist is at a party talking with a small group of people, when a man comes up behind him and taps him on the shoulder. The psychologist turns around and the man hauls off and decks him. The psychologist gets up, brushes himself off, turns to the group and
Category: Mental health jokes
Total 67 Posts
A young woman took her troubles to a psychiatrist. “Doctor, you must help me,” she pleaded. “It’s gotten so that every time I date a nice guy, I end up in bed with him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week.” “I see,” nodded the psychiatrist.
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,” he observed. To the first mother he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You even named your daughter Candy.” He turned to the second mom. “Your obsession is money. Again,
Psychiatrist to Internal Revenue agent on couch: “Nonsense! No way does everyone in the world hate you — everyone in the US perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world.”
Men are like government bonds. They take so long to mature.
Doctor ! Doctor ! I think I’m going crazy. I have a carrot growing out of my ear. Amazing ! so you have. How could that have happened ? I can’t understand it either, because I planted cabbage !
A woman entered a psychiatrist’s consulting room leadind a kangaroo.”I’m worried about my husband, doctor, ” she said. “He keeps thinking he’s a kangaroo! “