Q: What’s the best way to kill a man? A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.

Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A. You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.

Q. Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? A. So they can find their way back to the house.

Q. How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom? A. Three, if you slice them very thinly.

Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? A. Because those men already have boyfriends.

Q. How can you tell if a man is happy? A. Who cares?

Q. What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart? A. Through his chest with a sharp knife.