Sue reports for jury duty as ordered, and promptly asks to be excused because she believes she’s prejudice. “I took one look at those shifty eyes and that cheap polyester suit and I immediately knew that he was guilty as sin.” “Sit down,” says the judge. “That’s the prosecuting attorney.”
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A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and his front bumper smashed. There’s no sign of the offending vehicle, but he’s relieved to see that there’s a note stuck under the windshield wiper. The lawyer picks up the note. “Sorry. I just backed into your
The Night Before Christmas, Legally Speaking:Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter “the House”) ageneral lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but notlimited to, a mouse.A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stocking, socks, etc.,
A man walked into a lawyer’s office and inquired about the rates. “Fifty dollars for three questions,” replied the lawyer. “Isn’t that awfully steep?” asked the man. “Yes,” the lawyer replied, “and what was your third question?”
A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlightsbroken and considerable damage. There’s no sign of theoffending vehicle but he’s relieved to see that there’s anote stuck under the windshield wiper.”Sorry. I just backed into your Beemer. The witnesses who sawthe accident are nodding and smiling at me
Mr. Dewey was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense. “You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?” The client replied that he did. The lawyer then asked, “Do you know what will happen if you don’t tell the truth?” The client
Do you know the problem with lawyer jokes?Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and the rest of us don’tthink they’re jokes!