Mr. Schneider stood up in court. “As God is my judge, I do not owe my ex-wife any money.” Glaring down at him, the judge replied, “He’s not. I am. You do.”
Category: Judge jokes
Total 27 Posts
Jury: Twelve men and women trying to decide which party has the best lawyer. Justice: A decision in your favor.
Judge: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are on dead people.
Judge: What is your relationship with the plaintiff? A: She is my daughter. Judge: Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?
Judge: You stated that the stairs went down to the basement, is that correct? A: Yes. Judge: And these same stairs, did the also go up?
Judge: Your first marriage was terminated by death? A: Yes, by death. Judge: And by whose death was it terminated?
Judge: Are you married? A. No, I’m divorced. Judge. And what did your husband do before you divorced him? A. A lot of things I didn’t know about.