A very drunk man in a bar tells the bartender and everyone that issitting near him that he can fart out the tune to The Star Spangelled Banner!Everyone who hears this wants to see him do it. So he tells everyone togather around him, then he climbs up on the

There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, “ATTENTION ALL” and farts loudly. The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk and says” Excuse me, you just farted before my wife.” The

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously drunk.”Our wasted friend asked, “Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?”Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,”

Two drunks walk into a bar. The first drunk looks at his buddy and says “I gotta go use the can.” So he wonders off to the bathroom and is gone for 5 … 10… 20 minutes. Well his friend gets pissed off and goes in to get him. He

A drunk leaves a bar and decides to take a shortcut througha graveyard. It is raining heavily and very dark. The drunkfails to see an open grave and falls into it. He tries toclimb out of it, but it is too deep and the rain has turnedthe dirt to mud

A somewhat drunk man feels a bald man’s head and says,”Say, your head feels just like my wife’s ass.”The bald man feels his own head and says with a grin,”You know, you’re right!”