A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.Approaching the friend he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?””My mother died in June,” he said, “and left me $10,000.””Gee, that’s tough,” he replied.”Then in July,” the friend continued, “My father died leaving me $50,000.””Wow. Two
Category: Drunks
Total 20 Posts
A customer was sitting in a bar having a few drinks when he noticed a tiny little spot on the wall that seemed to be moving. He called it to the bartender’s attention. He glanced at it and said, “It’s a ladybug.”After a moment of stunned silence the customer said,
Drunk walks into elevator, no elevator there, falls five stories down, lands on the bottom. Lies there a few seconds, slowly opens his eyes,and then says, “Dammit, I said UP.”
McAteer arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered about the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick.”No,” replied McAteer. “I’ve lost all me luggage!” “How’d that happen?” “The cork fell out,” said the Irishman.
A woman goes into a bar with a little Chihuahua dog on a leash.She sits down at the bar next to a drunk. The drunk rollsaround, leans over, and splat! He pukes all over the dog. Thedrunk looks down, sees the little dog struggling in the pool ofvomit, and slurs,
“ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY”So what ? Who’s in a hurry ?
A drunk staggered into a cemetery and fell into a freshly dug grave.Pretty soon a second drunk staggered by. “Get me out of here”, said the one in the grave, “I’m cold”. The other one looked over the edge and said, “No wonder you’re cold, you poor guy. You don’t