If it weren’t for pick-pocketers, I’d have no sex life at all.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

You know the worst thing about oral sex? The view.

I love the lines men use to get us into bed. “Please, I’ll only put it in for a minute.” What am I, a microwave?

Q: Whats the difference between purple and pink? A: The grip.

Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? A: They don’t have balls to scratch.

Q: Why do women have tits? A: So men will talk to them.