A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past. They must have had sharp ears! They were mountain-ears!

I remember when Father Christmas first passed his sleigh-driving test. He came skidding down in front of the toy factory.’Have you passed?’ I asked. Father Christmas pointly proudly to the front of the sleigh. ‘See for yourself!’ he called proudly. ‘No-el plates!’

One time Father Christmas lost his underpants. That’s how he got the name Saint Knickerless!