Mother: What do you mean, the school must be haunted ? Daughter: Well, the principal kept going on about the school spirit.

Mary arrived home from school covered in spots. ‘Whatever’s the matter ?’ asked her mother. ‘I don’t know,’ replied Mary, ‘but the teacher thinks I may have caught decimals.’

Mother: I told you not eat cake before supper. Daughter: But, Mum, it’s part of my homework. ‘If you take an eighth of a cake from a whole cake, how much is left.

On the first day at school the girls were sizing each other up and boasting, trying to make good impressions on each other. ‘I come from a one-parent family,’ said one little girl proudly. ‘That’s nothing. Both my parents remarried after they got divorced. I come from a four parent

A little girl was next in line. ‘My name’s Curtain,’ she said. ‘I hope your first name is not Agnate ?’ ‘No, it’s velvet !’

Two girls were talking in the corridor. ‘That boy over there is getting on my nerves,’ said Clarrie. ‘But he’s not even looking at you,’ replied Clara. ‘That’s what’s getting on my nerves,’ retorted Clarrie.