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Category: Business Jokes

Total 145 Posts

The ten ifs of employment

|1. If it rings, put it on hold.2. If it clunks, call the repairman.3. If it whistles, ignore it.4. If it’s a friend, stop work and chat.5. If it’s the boss, look busy.6. If it talks, take notes.7. If it’s handwritten, type it.8. if it’s typed, copy it.9. If it’s

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A tight travel budget

|All workers please be advised of the following changes to the travel policy.MemorandumTo: All EmployeesFrom: HeadquartersSubject: Business Travel Policy GuidelinesDate: June 16, 2000Due to fiscal constraints, the following corporate policies are announced regarding employees on travel for official business. The purpose of these policies is to save money, thereby decreasing

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The requirements of this job

|Employer: “In this job we need someone who is responsible.”Applicant: “I’m the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

Those who don’t know

|The world is divided into two groups. There are those who know, and those who don’t know. Those who know are no problem.Those who don’t know are also in two groups.One is those who don’t know and know they don’t know. Well, they can learn!But then, there are those who

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Japanese management lecture

|Four corporate presidents, one English, one French, one Japanese and one American, were on their way to an international business conference when they were kidnapped by terrorists and taken to a secret hideout.”You, your companies, and you countries are enemies of the Revolution,” screamed the terrorist leader, “and you’re going

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Keeping a high profile in an office

|Never write a note or memo if you can phone or visit instead; everyone wants to talk whenever you’re ready.Don’t sit down to talk. The acoustics are better the higher you are, and remember that most people are a bit deaf so speak up louder!Try to talk with _at least_

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Reasons to stay at work all night

|1. Act out your version of a company takeover.2. Find a way to change everyone’s password to “chrysanthemum”.3. Around 3:20am, play connect-the-dots with lights still on in other office buildings. Keep going until you see a small woodland creature.4. Sneaking in the boss’s desk could land you an unexpected promotion.5.

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