An elderly woman
decided to have her
portrait painted. She told the artist “Paint me with
diamond earrings, a
diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach,
and gold Rolex.”

A ninety-year-old man was accused of raping a
twenty-year-old.
“So, did you do it?” his lawyer asked.
“Of course not,” the old man
replied. “But I was so flattered, I
pleaded guilty.”