A prosecuting attorney called his first witness,

a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. He approached her and

asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”

She responded, “Why,
yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you
since you were a
young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big
disappointment to me. You
lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and
talk about
them behind their backs. You think you’re a rising big shot
when you
haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to
anything
more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”

The lawyer was
stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across
the room and
asked, “Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?”

She
again replied, “Why, yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he
was a
youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he,

too, has been a real disappointment to me. He’s lazy, bigoted,
he has a
drinking problem. The man can’t build a normal
relationship with anyone
and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the
entire state. Yes,
I know him.”

At this point, the judge
rapped the courtroom to silence and called
both counselors to the
bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace,
“If either of you
asks her if she knows me, you’ll be jailed for
contempt!”