During camouflage training in Louisiana, a
private disguised as
a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was
spotted by a visiting
general.

“You simpleton!” the officer
barked. “Don’t you know that by
jumping and yelling the way you did,
you could have endangered the lives of
the entire
company?”

“Yes sir,” the solder answered apologetically. “But, if I may say

so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target

practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower

branches. But When two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the
bigger
say, “Let’s eat one now and save the other until winter’
— that did
it.”