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Tag: judge

Total 51 Posts

Guilty as sin

Sue reports for jury duty as ordered, and promptly asks to be excused because she believes she’s prejudice. “I took one look at those shifty eyes and that cheap polyester suit and I immediately knew that he was guilty as sin.” “Sit down,” says the judge. “That’s the prosecuting attorney.”

At night court, a man was brought in and set…

At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge.The judge said, “State your name, occupation, and the charge.”The defendant said, “I’m Sparks, I’m an electrician, charged with battery.”The judge winced and said, “Bailiff! Put this man in a dry cell!”

Best advice possible

Taylor was desperate for business, and was happy to be appointed by the court to defend an indigent defendant. The judge ordered Taylor,”You are to confer with the defendant in the hallway, and give him the best legal advice you can.”After a time, Taylor re-entered the courtroom alone. When the

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A tough case was being argued in court…

A tough case was being argued in court. The defense attorney,feeling that he was in trouble, sent the judge a bottle ofhundred-year old brandy. The defendant was fit to be tied.”The judge’ll kill me. Trying to bribe him! We’re dead!””I don’t think so,” his attorney told him. “I sent it

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Trial Of The Century

Trial Of The Century Transcript Reveals Objectionable Methods By Dave Barry, Sunday, March 19, 1995 TRANSCRIPT, TRIAL OF THE CENTURY, DAY 257BAILIFF: Hear ye, hear ye, the court is now in sess…DEFENSE: Objection, your honor.JUDGE: To what?DEFENSE: Nothing, your honor. We’re just warming up.PROSECUTION: Your honor, the people would like

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Giving up drugs!

Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The judge said,”You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend

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A man was

A man was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked if he had anything to say in his defense. “They shouldn’t put up such misleading notices,” said the man. “It said FINE FOR PARKING HERE.”

Crushing a man’s ego real fast!

30 Things Never to Say to a Naked Man…1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that.2. Ahhhh, it’s cute.3. Why don’t we just cuddle?4. You know they have surgery to fix that.5. Make it dance.6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?7. Wow, and your feet are so big.8. It’s

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