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Tag: children

Total 103 Posts

From a Southwest Airlines employee….

From a Southwest Airlines employee….”Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX, to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised. In

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GOD’s Kids.

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to God’s kids. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was:”Don’t.” “Don’t what?” Adam replied. “Don’t eat the

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Tell Me

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary.The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife . . . “Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our 10th child never quite looked like

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College by Dave Barry

College by Dave Barry Many of you young persons out there are seriously thinking about going to college. (That is, of course, a lie. The only things you young persons think seriously about are loud music and sex. Trust me: these are closely related to college.) College is basically a

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Letters To Landlord

Woo-hoo…check out these letters from tenants to landlords!”The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared. “”Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk. Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant. .. .””The toilet seat is cracked: where do I

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The Night Before Christmas, Legally Speaking

The Night Before Christmas, Legally Speaking:Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter “the House”) ageneral lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but notlimited to, a mouse.A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stocking, socks, etc.,

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For the second time in a row, I was forced to impose on the woman with whom I carpooled to our children’s soccer practices. I phoned and explained that my husband had the car again, so I wouldn’t be able to take my turn.A few minutes before she was due

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Didn’t make the cut…

A few children’s books that didn’t make the cut:1. You Are Different and That’s Bad 2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables 3. Dad’s New Wife Robert 4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share 5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book 6. The Kids’ Guide

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