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Tag: attorney

Total 29 Posts

Trust

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial –it went like this:Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.Q: Officer, who provided this description? A:

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Guilty as sin

Sue reports for jury duty as ordered, and promptly asks to be excused because she believes she’s prejudice. “I took one look at those shifty eyes and that cheap polyester suit and I immediately knew that he was guilty as sin.” “Sit down,” says the judge. “That’s the prosecuting attorney.”

An elderly patient needed a heart transplant…

An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, “We have 3 possible donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident, the 2nd is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying

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A tough case was being argued in court…

A tough case was being argued in court. The defense attorney,feeling that he was in trouble, sent the judge a bottle ofhundred-year old brandy. The defendant was fit to be tied.”The judge’ll kill me. Trying to bribe him! We’re dead!””I don’t think so,” his attorney told him. “I sent it

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That was an insult

A man came storming out of the courthouse ranting and raving; obviously really angry . He stomped accross the street and into the bar and flounced down on a stool muttering, “Asshole attorneys”. The man next to him recoiled in outrage saying “I want you to know I highly resent

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A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner…

A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner.The attorney asks, “Before you signed thedeath certificate had you taken the man’s pulse?” The coroner says, “No.” The attorney then asks, “Did you listen for a heart beat?” “No.” “So when you signed the death certificate you had not takenany steps to

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A prosecuting attorney

A prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big

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