A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood. About five minutes later, he hears some thumping sounds and looks around to see someone taking stuff out of his trunk! He runs around and yells, “Hey, bud, this
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“Squawks” are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. (P)=PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION (P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement (S) Almost replaced left inside main
Magician and Parrot A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began
A woman phones up her husband at work for a chat. . . .Says He: “I’m sorry honey but I’m up to my neck in work today”Says She: “But I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you dear.”Says He: “OK darling, but since I’ve got no time
Fred goes to a doctor and says, “Doc, I want to be castrated.” Doc says, “Look, I don’t know what kind of cult you’re into orwhat your motives are, but I’m not going to do that sort of operation.” Fred: “Doc, I just want to be castrated, and I’m a
This bloke picks up woman at the local pub. They go for a romanticwalk down the street. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll hislustful desires rise to a fever pitch.He is just about to put the hard word on her when she says, “I hope you don’tmind
A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend’s caris total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches,dirt and blood. He asks his friend,”What’s happened to your car?””Well,” the friend responses, “I ran into a lawyer”.”OK,” says the man, “that explains the blood… But what about the leaves,