Not only is she a little young, but you’re sure that you used to dateher mother….You find out her real name is Vinnie, and you used to play littleleague with her….She has a thicker moustache than you….When you go to pick her up, her lawyer meets you at the door
(Be read when using the Willy voice in your head)SUBJ: Clinton’s Address to the NationText from Clinton’s Address to the Nation if he were on truth serum.10.16 P.m. ET (0216 GMT) August 17, 1998Good evening.This afternoon in this room, from this chair, in this very spot, I was forced to
A Jewish lawyer was troubled by the way his son turned out, and went to see his Rabbi about it. “I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, cost me a fortune to educate him. Then he tells me last week he has decided
Defendant: Your Honor, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.Judge: And why is that?Defendant: Because the Public Defender isn’t interested in my case.Judge (to Public Defender): Do you have any comments on the defendant’s motion?Public Defender: I’m sorry, Your Honor. I wasn’t listening.
A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and his front bumper smashed. There’s no sign of the offending vehicle, but he’s relieved to see that there’s a note stuck under the windshield wiper. The lawyer picks up the note. “Sorry. I just backed into your
A man walked into a lawyer’s office and inquired about the rates. “Fifty dollars for three questions,” replied the lawyer. “Isn’t that awfully steep?” asked the man. “Yes,” the lawyer replied, “and what was your third question?”
Mr. Dewey was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense. “You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?” The client replied that he did. The lawyer then asked, “Do you know what will happen if you don’t tell the truth?” The client
Do you know the problem with lawyer jokes?Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and the rest of us don’tthink they’re jokes!